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Today, I cried. And at first, I didn't know why- (emotion seems contagious around these here parts)- And I know I was angry, but this anger was directed towards myself more than anyone or anything else. The anger was directed towards my own naïve and ignorant ways. I'm here because I know it happens- from the homophobia to the subtle racism- but I have this one image of myself walking up and down the hallways with a huge smile on my face, thinking that somehow my cheerfulness will fix everything- and it won't- cuz it can't. But, there's this hope inside of me. And maybe it's stupid and maybe it's useless but it's what motivates me. You have to think that change is possible and that it's within our reach to even be here right now. And I look around and I see the faces of the people here and even beyond the anger and the ignorance, even beyond the privilege- there's hope. And it's moving. And I'm sorry that I won't be able to express these exact feelings to the people who aren't here- but I know, and you know and we will find some way to translate these emotions and this hope into something more concrete- something more than a smile- because you can't deny it. This is for real!

And as cliché as it may sound- "with greater knowledge comes greater sorrow."

But when I go back- when I am forced to step back into the real world, people will think that I'm trying to fix racism or homophobia, but I'm not, cuz I can't. And if it were up to one person to do so, we wouldn't be sitting here now because these issues would not exist. I'm just typing to lay it all out on the table because I'm honestly sick of hearing, "we're diverse enough, we don't need diversity; there's no racism here." And people need to know the truth and maybe that's my job- to get the truth out there- to open eyes- to make them understand. Because I can't fix people. And I won't be able to change everyone's mind. But I want people to challenge ideas that they've taken for gospel their entire lives simply because they've never heard or known otherwise. You only know what you are told and what you yourself experience.

So, believe none of what you hear, half of what you read, and all of what you see.

And maybe being here has made me discover my calling- to collect the stories and the facts, as horrid, horrendous, and horrific as they may be, and set them out on the table for everyone to see!

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